3 Newfoundlanders Walk Into A Bar (Hasty Pudding vs. Brownie Pudding)

Hasty pudding is essentially the same recipe as brownie pudding except for two key ingredients. It calls for chopped dates (which is hilarious because they're the most time consuming part of the otherwise 'hasty' recipe) while brownie pudding calls for cocoa in its fudge sauce. The whole idea of both desserts is to make a simple, brownie-like batter (you can even include walnuts if you're into that sort of thing) and then pour over a water-based sauce. When the pudding bakes, the sauce soaks through and under the batter and you end up with brownie and hot chocolate sauce all in one dish. It's incredible comfort food, and actually not even that bad for you. I mean, it's not good for you, but there are worse things to put in your body...

...like 3 beer, 2 shots and two rum and cokes. Okay, so for some people this is an average night, but Rock Star does not enter my body. Ever. Just as rarely does coke. And Bud Light? Once in a poor, poor blue moon, and only out of consideration for the person who blindly purchased it for me. Neither do I start drinking at 2am and finish at 4:30am. My body just can't handle it. Refer to my post on being a grandmother - How to Crash A Tea Party, and Other Stories - if you don't believe me.

Every now and then you need to break out of your comfort zone. A nice fellow from the Goulds, as it turned out, swooped me under his wing and off to my 4th Juno party of the evening (the weekend leading up to the Sunday evening music awards show was the most amazing deal on copious amounts of decent to really good Canadian live music to grace downtown St. John's since 2002. A special occasion, so I think I can stay up past my bedtime, putting my grandmotherly tendencies on vacation. Little black dress, high heels.

The fellow from the Goulds' friend, a Bayman from the Southern shore (of Newfoundland, for anyone who doesn't know what that means) was a bit quieter, always talking up his friend and buying me a few of those aforementioned 7 drinks.

So the debate begins. Hasty pudding or brownie pudding?

Hasty Pudding
1 cup flour
1/3 cup brown sugar
1 tbsp cocoa
1/4 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tbsp butter or margarine
1 cup chopped dates (or raisins, if you must)
2/3 cup almond breeze (or any kind of milk)

Sauce
1 cup brown sugar
1 tbsp flour
1 tbsp butter
1/8 tsp salt
2 cups boiling water
2 tsp vanilla

Versus

Brownie Pudding
1 cup flour
1/2 tsp salt
2 tbsp cocoa
2 tsp baking powder
3/4 cup sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup almond breeze (or any kind of milk)
2 tbsp melted butter (or margarine)

Sauce
1 cup brown sugar
1/4 cocoa
1 3/4 cups hot water

3 handfuls mini marshmallows, optional

The methods are very similar. Sift dry non-sauce ingredients. Add liquid non-sauce ingredients (rub in the butter first, in the case of Hasty Pudding, though really you could just melt the butter like brownie pudding if you don't like to get your hands dirty, but that's no fun). Pour the batter into a greased 8-inch square or round cake pan. Sometimes round is more attractive, but this is both a practical decision (you're not going to go buy a square pan if you already have a round one...unless you're thinking of getting rid of your round one and upgrading to a square...if you see it as 'upgrading') and based on individual taste.

Fellow from the Goulds: "Would you like a beer? What kind?" Before I can answer: "How about a Bud Light?"

Bayman: "So you're a Townie? From St. John's? Girl after my own heart, drinking beer. None of those fancy girly drinks. Cocktails and the like. Girl after m' own heart"

The two sauces are what really differentiate the puddings. The Hasty pudding comes out much denser and the sauce is more like toffee, maybe like a sticky toffee pudding but without the cream. The brownie pudding sauce is much easier to make, and it's actually lighter, though it tastes richer from the cocoa. There is no flour to thicken it, and yet it somehow thickens up nicely anyway, defying the odds.

For the Hasty pudding sauce, mix together the flour and brown sugar, then add the butter. It doesn't matter if it doesn't combine properly because the next step is to pour the 2 cups of boiling water over top and melt it all together. The butter will melt whether it's already well-combined with the flour or not. Then add the salt and vanilla. I'm not sure why you add the salt after the boiling water, but I suppose for the same reason vanilla is always added after and not before heat in recipes, to retain the flavour. Then the sauce gets poured over the pudding cake and baked in a preheated 350 degree oven for 30 minutes.

For the brownie pudding, mix together all the sauce ingredients at once, and pour over the batter. Because this recipe only calls for hot water, you could probably get away with just 'hot' water in the hasty recipe too, though there's more in the sauce to dissolve. You certainly don't need boiling water for this one. Waiting for water to boil can be excruciating when it prolongs the chocolate pay-off. Delayed gratification and all. Then into the preheated 350 degree oven for 40-45 minutes.

Fellow from the Goulds: "Do you want another beer?" To the Bayman: "Lets get another beer." I look at my almost full Bud Light and at the almost empty beers of my companions and realize this will not work out well.

There are two options. I can chug the disgusting beer and take another, feigning gratitude. Or I can decline, thereby proving my wimpy Townie nature, disappointing these jolly fellows, and hampering the night's festivities.

I debated, and then I chose option number 3. I would slowly pour all my drinks onto the floor, so I could keep up with the Bayman and the fellow from the Goulds. I'd just pretend the floor was pudding and beer was the sauce. Avoid the shoes, and don't let anybody notice. A game, then.

The most fun part of the brownie pudding is that when it's done you top it with mini marshmallows and "return it to the oven to brown". I stuck it under the broiler to speed up the browning process, being skeptical of the recipe's assured attitude that browning could occur in the lower part of the oven. Impatient me, yet again. Broiling can be tough. You need to pay a lot of attention or your marshmallows will expand and burn, overflowing the top of the pan.

The fellow from the Goulds: "Lets get a shot". To the Bayman: "How about a shot?"
I look at my almost full second beer (having successfully made a pudding cake of the floor with the first 2 minutes before) and at my companions' almost empty beer, and realize this will not work out well.

"Cheers!" Down goes the jager bomb, and out into the beer. Pretend like you're chasing it with the second drink. Unfortunately my beer was a little too full and there was nothing to be done. Also, unfortunately, the beer quickly became a fountain from the additional alcohol. I would have to be more careful for the rest of the night. The best laid plans...

My marshmallows expanded to three times their original volume. I think they would have overflowed like the beer if I hadn't gotten them out right away. They were brown enough, but oh so deliciously gooey on the inside. This needs to be eaten right away, before the marshmallow condenses back down to a normal size, hardens and becomes a bland layer of sugar instead of a smore-like treat. Mmm...heaven.

At 10 minute intervals for the rest of the night:
The fellow from the Goulds: "Do you want another beer?"
"Sure!"

The Bayman: "Can I get you a drink?" I look at my unfinished current drink...
"Sure!"

The fellow from the Goulds: "2 Rum and coke and a beer, please."

The fellow from the Goulds: "A shot. Lets get a shot"
By now I had mastered my shooter into beer spitting technique. Thank goodness.

4am, last call:
The fellow from the Goulds: "You got another few beer behind the bar there? 3 of them.

The question is a tough one: Which is better? The Hasty Pudding or the Brownie Pudding? Pudding origins aside, I certainly preferred the brownie pudding. Somehow I could taste the baking powder in the hasty pudding, though it actually contained less, and it wasn't exactly the flavour I was looking for. Cocoa masks everything in fake-rich liquid cocaine. The dates made the
Hasty pudding sweeter, yes, but the Brownie pudding was much more satisfying. Definitely the Brownie Pudding.

And how did three Newfoundlanders walk out of the bar? Well the fellow from the Goulds and the Bayman were drunk, and the Townie was sober.

Which of these did I choose? Neither. Men aren't pudding.